In the previous post , we explored how cognitive distortions—those subtle, automatic patterns of thought—can shape our emotions and perception of reality. From catastrophizing to mind reading, these mental habits often go unnoticed but quietly influence how we interpret daily experiences.

Now that you’re familiar with what cognitive distortions are and why they’re so common, it’s time to take the next step: learning how to recognize them in the moment and challenge them with more balanced, grounded thinking.

This post isn’t about eliminating negative thoughts altogether—that’s neither possible nor healthy. Instead, it’s about developing awareness and building the tools to pause, question, and shift our inner dialogue when it starts to spiral. It’s a skill that takes practice, but it can make a powerful difference in how we relate to our thoughts—and to ourselves.

How to Spot Distorted Thinking in Real Time

Cognitive distortions often slip into our minds unnoticed—they’re fast, automatic, and feel true in the moment. That’s what makes them tricky. But with a bit of practice, it’s possible to catch them as they happen—or at least shortly after.

Here are a few signals that might indicate distorted thinking is at play:

  • You’re experiencing a sudden shift in mood, especially if it’s intense or disproportionate to the situation.

  • Your thoughts include absolute terms like “always,” “never,” “everything,” “nothing.”

  • You’re assuming you know what others are thinking or predicting the future with certainty.

  • You’re spiraling in repetitive thoughts or self-criticism that feels stuck on a loop.

These moments can be your cue to pause and ask: “What just went through my mind?”

Practical Techniques to Challenge Distortions

Recognizing a distorted thought is the first step—challenging it is where change begins. This doesn’t mean forcing yourself to “think positive” or ignore difficult emotions. Instead, it’s about gently questioning the accuracy of your thoughts and giving yourself space to see things more clearly.

Let’s walk through some practical tools you can use.

1. Cognitive Restructuring: A CBT Classic

Cognitive restructuring is a core tool from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that helps you identify a distorted thought, examine the evidence, and replace it with a more balanced perspective.

Here’s a simple way to do it:

Step 1: Identify the thought

“I completely failed that presentation.”

Step 2: Ask questions to challenge it:

  • What evidence supports this thought?

  • What evidence contradicts it?

  • Am I using extreme or absolute language?

  • How might someone else see this situation?

Step 3: Reframe it:

“It didn’t go as smoothly as I hoped, but I made my main points and answered questions well. I can improve next time.”

2. Fact vs. Feeling

A powerful mental check: “Am I reacting to facts, or just feelings?”

Feelings are valid—but they’re not always accurate reflections of reality. A thought like “I feel ignored, so they must be mad at me” can be gently reframed to:

“I feel ignored, which makes me anxious—but I don’t know what they’re thinking. There could be other reasons.”

3. The Friend Test

We’re often much harsher on ourselves than we are on others. It helps to imagine your thought coming from someone else. Would you agree with it so easily? Or would you question it, offer compassion, or ask for more context?

Ask yourself:

“What would I say if a friend told me this?”

This helps introduce empathy and distance from the distortion.

4. Use “Maybe” and “Sometimes”

Cognitive distortions often speak in absolutes: always, never, everyone, no one.

Try replacing those with softer words:

“Maybe this didn’t go how I planned, but that doesn’t mean I always fail.”
“Sometimes I overthink things. That’s okay—I’m learning to pause and reflect.”

The Power of Reframing: Shifting Perspective

Challenging distorted thoughts isn’t just about proving them wrong—it’s about shifting the way you relate to your inner dialogue. That’s where reframing comes in. Think of it as changing the lens you’re looking through, so you can see a situation more fully, more fairly, and with more kindness.

What Reframing Really Means

Reframing doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine or slapping a positive spin on painful experiences. It means:

  • Looking at your assumptions and asking if there’s another way to interpret what’s happening

  • Opening yourself to alternative explanations, not just the most emotionally charged one

  • Giving yourself space to respond thoughtfully, not react reflexively

It’s not denial. It’s perspective.

Self-Compassion Makes It Easier

Reframing works best when it’s paired with self-compassion. Instead of pushing back with judgment—“Ugh, I’m thinking negatively again, what’s wrong with me?”—you can respond with something softer:

“It makes sense that I’m thinking this way. It’s a habit I’m working on. I’m learning.”

The goal isn’t perfect thoughts. It’s flexibility. And that’s a skill that grows with practice.

Building Awareness as a Daily Practice

Recognizing and reframing cognitive distortions isn’t a one-time fix—it’s an ongoing practice. Just like training a muscle, developing mental awareness takes repetition, patience, and a bit of kindness toward yourself along the way.

Make Room for Small Daily Check-ins

You don’t need to spend hours analyzing your thoughts. A few minutes of mindful reflection can go a long way. Try asking yourself at the end of the day:

  • “When did I feel stuck in my thoughts today?”

  • “What was I telling myself in that moment?”

  • “Is there another way I could view that situation now?”

These micro-moments of awareness are what create long-term change.

Use Writing to Catch Patterns Over Time

Journaling, even briefly, helps externalize your thoughts so you can see them more clearly. Try jotting down thoughts that triggered strong emotions, then come back to them later with a curious mindset:

“Is there a distortion here? How else could I look at this?”

Over time, you’ll start to notice patterns—both in the distortions you tend to fall into and in your growing ability to respond differently.

Track Your Emotional Landscape

If you use an app like Moodset , tracking your mood and identifying what might have influenced it can give you valuable insight. Certain distortions may show up consistently in specific contexts—like during social situations or work-related stress. Recognizing these patterns is the first step to reshaping them.

Be Patient with the Process

You won’t catch every distortion in the moment. And sometimes, even when you do, it’s hard to believe anything else. That’s okay. Awareness is not about getting it right all the time—it’s about staying open and curious, again and again.

Every time you pause, reflect, and gently challenge a thought, you’re doing the work. Even if it doesn’t feel like progress, it is.

Closing Thoughts

Cognitive distortions may be automatic, but they’re not unchangeable. By learning to spot them in the moment and gently challenge their grip, you begin to shift your relationship with your own mind—one thought at a time.

You don’t have to master every technique or “fix” every distorted belief. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s awareness, flexibility, and self-compassion. Over time, these small shifts in how you think can lead to big changes in how you feel and respond to the world around you.

So, take a moment to reflect:
Which distortion do you recognize most often in your thinking?
What would it look like to challenge it next time it appears?

This work is a process—and you’re already in it. Keep going.