Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I always mess things up,” or “If I’m not perfect, I’ve failed”? These kinds of thoughts can feel so automatic and convincing that we rarely stop to question them. But often, they’re not accurate reflections of reality—they’re mental habits known as cognitive distortions.

This two-part blog series is all about understanding these hidden thought patterns that shape the way we see ourselves, others, and the world around us. In this first post, we’ll explore what cognitive distortions are, why we all experience them, and introduce some of the most common ones.

Recognizing these patterns is an important step toward improving emotional awareness and breaking free from unhelpful thought loops. You don’t have to be in a crisis to benefit from this—just being a little more aware of your thinking can make a big difference in your day-to-day mood and relationships.

Let’s start by unpacking what exactly cognitive distortions are.

What Are Cognitive Distortions?

Cognitive distortions are biased or inaccurate ways of thinking that can distort how we perceive reality. They often sneak into our thoughts without us noticing, especially when we’re stressed, anxious, or feeling low. Think of them as mental “filters” that color how we interpret situations—often in a negative or overly dramatic way.

These thought patterns aren’t just occasional slips. They tend to be habitual, meaning we might fall into them regularly without realizing it. For example, interpreting a friend’s delayed reply as “They must be mad at me,” or seeing one mistake at work as “I’m terrible at my job.”

While these thoughts can feel true in the moment, they often don’t hold up under closer inspection. The problem is, the more often we think this way, the more we reinforce those negative beliefs—and that can take a real toll on our emotional well-being over time.

Importantly, cognitive distortions aren’t signs of weakness or illness. They’re common mental shortcuts that the brain uses to make quick sense of things—especially when we’re overwhelmed. But when we learn to recognize them, we can begin to question and reframe them, creating space for more balanced and helpful perspectives.

Why We All Have Them

Cognitive distortions aren’t a flaw in your thinking—they’re part of being human. In fact, these mental shortcuts once helped our ancestors survive by quickly spotting threats or making snap judgments in uncertain situations. The problem is, while those instincts were useful in the wild, they’re not always helpful in everyday modern life.

Most of these distortions develop over time. They can be shaped by our upbringing, past experiences, cultural messages, or even the people we spend time with. For example, if you grew up being criticized for small mistakes, you might be more likely to think in all-or-nothing terms, seeing yourself as either a “success” or a “failure”—with nothing in between.

They also tend to show up more often when we’re feeling overwhelmed, tired, anxious, or under pressure. In those moments, our brains look for shortcuts to make sense of what’s going on. Unfortunately, those shortcuts often exaggerate the negatives and leave out important context.

The good news? Just because these patterns are common doesn’t mean we’re stuck with them. Once we start to recognize the kinds of distorted thoughts we fall into, we can begin to change them. It’s not about forcing yourself to “think positive”—it’s about thinking clearly and kindly.

Common Types of Cognitive Distortions

Cognitive distortions can take many forms, but most of them fall into a few recognizable categories. Here are ten of the most common ones, along with examples to help you spot them in real life. As you read through, notice if any of these feel familiar—that’s a sign you’re on the right track.

1. All-or-Nothing Thinking

Also called black-and-white thinking, this distortion makes you see things in extremes with no middle ground. If something isn’t perfect, you see it as a total failure.
Why it matters: This kind of thinking makes it hard to recognize progress, growth, or partial successes.

Example: “I ate one unhealthy snack today—my whole diet is ruined.”
A more balanced thought: “I slipped up once today, but overall I’ve been doing well.”

2. Overgeneralization

This happens when you take a single event and draw broad, sweeping conclusions from it. One negative moment becomes a pattern in your mind.
Why it matters: It leads to a sense of hopelessness and unfairly colors future experiences.

Example: “I didn’t get that job—I’ll never get hired anywhere.”
A more balanced thought: “That opportunity didn’t work out, but there are others ahead.”

3. Mental Filtering

You focus entirely on the negative parts of a situation while ignoring the positives. Even if something goes mostly well, one flaw can overshadow everything.
Why it matters: This fuels feelings of inadequacy and prevents you from seeing the full picture.

Example: “I stumbled during my presentation, so it was a disaster,” ignoring that people were engaged and asked great questions.
A more balanced thought: “I made one mistake, but overall the presentation was well-received.”

4. Disqualifying the Positive

You reject or minimize positive experiences by convincing yourself they “don’t count.” Compliments, success, or good events are brushed off.
Why it matters: It prevents you from building confidence and feeling good about yourself.

Example: “They said they liked my work, but they were just being polite.”
A more balanced thought: “They probably meant what they said—maybe I really did a good job.”

5. Jumping to Conclusions

You assume things without evidence, often imagining the worst. This distortion includes two subtypes:

  • Mind Reading: Believing you know what others are thinking.
    “He didn’t smile at me today—he must be angry.”

  • Fortune Telling: Predicting future events will go badly.
    “I’m going to mess up the interview for sure.”

Why it matters: These assumptions create unnecessary anxiety and miscommunication.

A more balanced thought: “I don’t know what they’re thinking—maybe there’s another explanation.”

6. Catastrophizing

You imagine the worst possible outcome, even when it’s unlikely. Small problems feel like major disasters in your mind.
Why it matters: It amplifies fear and stress, making problems feel much bigger than they are.

Example: “I made a typo in my email—now everyone will think I’m careless and unprofessional.”
A more balanced thought: “It was a small error—most people won’t even notice.”

7. Emotional Reasoning

You believe something is true because you feel it strongly, even if there’s no real evidence.
Why it matters: Emotions are important, but they aren’t always reliable indicators of fact.

Example: “I feel worthless, so I must be worthless.”
A more balanced thought: “My feelings are valid, but they don’t define my worth.”

8. “Should” Statements

You place rigid expectations on yourself or others, often using words like should, must, or ought to. These rules create guilt, frustration, or pressure.
Why it matters: It can lead to chronic dissatisfaction and harsh self-criticism.

Example: “I should always be in control of my emotions.”
A more balanced thought: “It’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes—I’m human.”

9. Labeling and Mislabeling

You assign negative labels to yourself or others based on a single behavior. Instead of recognizing a mistake, you define yourself by it.
Why it matters: Labels are limiting—they lock you into a fixed, negative identity.

Example: “I forgot something important—I’m such an idiot.”
A more balanced thought: “I made a mistake. That doesn’t define who I am.”

10. Personalization

You blame yourself for things beyond your control, or assume events are always about you.
Why it matters: It leads to unnecessary guilt and feelings of responsibility for others’ emotions.

Example: “They’re upset—it must be because of something I said.”
A more balanced thought: “I’ll check in with them, but their mood might have nothing to do with me.”

Conclusion

Cognitive distortions are incredibly common, and they often operate just below the surface of our awareness. But once we start to notice them, we gain a powerful tool for understanding how our thoughts influence our emotions—and why we might feel stuck in certain patterns.

In the next part of this series, we’ll explore how to become more aware of your own thinking habits, practical ways to reframe distorted thoughts, and how mood tracking can support this process by helping you spot emotional patterns over time.

Stay tuned—and be kind to yourself as you begin noticing these patterns. Awareness is the first step toward change.